Being Scared….
Being scared is the biggest mental health issue right now.
Being scared has been prevalent for those seeking therapy way before any pandemic hit the planet. What we are noticing now is this issue skyrocket and soar above any preconceptions we had before about how to manage and deal with it.
Mental Health impacts on everyone. The pandemic has taught us that once we were locked down either on our own, or with others we didn’t want to be locked down with, it brought all the issues we could normally distract ourselves with, to the surface. So we sought to distract ourselves in whatever way we knew. We ate, drank and fought our way through life for the last 18 months. Some went to the extreme while others became aware of their lives and started shape shifting and reevaluating where they were/are at. We thought by opening up we could go back to normal, whatever that was. The reality is we can’t. We are now faced with still having to protect ourselves and our families in whatever way we can. In my work, clients now contact me with what has become a predictable conversation. There is a pattern to the calls I now take. Many calls are from people seeking support with their relationships, with their coping strategies, but invariably I now get many calls requesting support on how to cope with this niggling feeling of fear within.
I prefer to call anxiety, fear, or feeling scared. The Kardashians have overused the term to manage a nail break or how their make up artist is running late.
Fear is held within the body and we notice it because our muscles tighten, our breath gets shallow and our muscles start to prepare the body for something bad that the brain tells is about to happen. Stress and panic attacks are on the rise, which is probably one of the most frightening experiences a person can go through. Sweaty palms, pains in the chest, restricted breathing elevate us further into a state of panic, while we have no logical explanation for why it is happening. In most experiences these attacks happen when we least expect it and in the most inconvenient of places, the supermarket for me was one of the most terrifying places to be.
With fear, the most important thing we can ever do is to take it outside of the body. Of course there are techniques for this but not everyone can meditate or take part in ‘mindful journeys’. It can be tough enough to sit still for 2 minutes let alone “be” in the presence of doing nothing, or “be” like a tree. Getting it outside of the body, for me, means to talk.
As a psychotherapist I’m the first one to own my bias when it comes to the importance of therapy. I have been in and out of therapy since 1999 and the knowledge I have and the self care I do always comes from when I’m talking about how I am to someone who isn’t involved in my life.
I advocate therapy for all, whether you have been through a trauma, if you are struggling or if you see no future. But I also advocate it for those who don’t think they have an issue. Its just useful to get stuff off your chest and we underestimate the power attached to sharing your experiences, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we can’t say this stuff to friends or family because we might be judged, we don’t want to worry our loved ones, or we want to avoid getting a heap of advice we haven’t asked for. Sometimes its just about the listening. I advise this only. Please talk. Don’t keep the fear locked inside. Holding it in will lead to greater pain, further panic attacks, relationship difficulties, addictions, and dark thoughts. Please get some help with what scares you.
